


The Broke Indie Musicians AU

by fictionalaspect



Series: Not-quite-fics [1]
Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Broke Musicians AU, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Notfic, music industry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-14
Updated: 2012-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 11:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/319646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/pseuds/fictionalaspect
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why are we eating pancakes in our underwear on your kitchen floor?" Dallon asks again, later on, because he's kind of drunk and it's like, noon, and there are very few times in his life that he's going to be able to ask that sort of question and get an honest answer, so he might as well take advantage of it.</p><p>"Because Sarah's here," Brendon says, like that's a totally valid response.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Broke Indie Musicians AU

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: AU, POV shifts, no fact-checking, probable grammar and/or spelling mistakes, casual drug and alcohol use, mentions of people making out while drunk and/or high, and a fairly AU version of Dallon who is a) not Mormon and b) not married and b) occasionally has a few beers but is still very recognizably Dallon, I guess. In looking back I am not actually sure what prompted me to write this except I wanted to write about Dallon the lonely drifter guitar tech who gets roped into working at Zack's club and meets two weird dudes named Brendon and Spencer. It is...not the Brendon/Spencer/Dallon fic that is crying out to be written in fandom, that's for sure. I don't know what it is. But there are a lot of dumb jokes and also accordions. \o/?

Anyway, it starts out by being a story about Dallon, who is in his mid-late twenties and lives in his parent's basement and works in the music industry as a guitar tech and equipment tech and sound guy and basically does whatever he needs to do. He'd be more embarrassed about living in his parent's basement if he wasn't on the road probably 10 months out of every 12, so honestly there's no point in having an apartment anyway. He's just sort of a drifter, and he knows people all over but his work is his life and that's pretty much how it is.

So he finished another tour and ends up in Vegas for three days, sleeping on friend's couches, and by the end of those three days it's been decided that instead of flying home, he's going to house-sit his friend Ian's apartment and water his pot plants and generally make himself useful because Ian has a roommate who also works in the industry and usually they somehow manage to stagger tours but now they're both leaving for a month at the same time, and I don't know, imagine there is some plot point that means that Ian really wants to have Dallon crash there for a while. Maybe he has a cat or something.

And Dallon is kind of dubious but then Zack, Ian's boss, who knows Dallon from way back, points out that he's losing a guitar tech for his club for the month that Ian's on tour with his friends and he knows Dallon well enough to just give him Ian's shifts and so it's basically decided that Dallon will hang out in Vegas for a month and Zack will remember to pay him under the table so he can eat, and whatever, Dallon probably won't make any money off of it but at least it's an apartment to himself and some cash and it's better than staying in his parent's basement.

So Dallon begins his month-long schedule of basically just living at the club, because everyone he knows in Vegas, all four of them, are somehow connected to Zack's place. He works four or five nights a week and then when he's not working he just shows up and drinks beers with the guys and hangs out side-stage on the catwalk and it's not a big deal because he's worked with most of these guys before and they know he's probably a little lonely, although no one mentions THAT, but most of all he won't get in the way.

So one night he's hanging around, not exactly working, not exactly not-working, just something in between, and he's having a beer with Zack during this local showcase thing that doesn't require much effort from any of them, and most of the bands suck but the second-to-last act is this two-person duo, a tiny dark-haired guy with glasses and a taller, also not-that-big guy with a beard, and they seriously look like nothing more than college kids and Dallon is sort of silently rolling his eyes because who do they think they are, the White Stripes? And then Zack surprises him by tilting his beer towards the stage and saying casually, "I really like these guys," and Dallon blinks and then he sees that they're bringing a LOT of instruments on stage, like, far more than there are band members, and he resolves to at least give them a chance in his own head because Zack usually has a good ear for these sorts of things.

It turns out that the band is _awesome._ Dallon is no slouch when it comes to the music industry and he's honestly met very few people like the singer/guitarist/pianist/accordianist/bassist little frontman, who Zack says is named Brendon. Brendon switches instruments every song and each piece is like, sparse and awesome with just that one instrument and the drums and his voice, and the drummer is also really, REALLY fucking good and Dallon is totally blown away and resolves to go find them after the set and give them a high-five. He's pretty jaded - he can't remember the last time a band made him ACTUALLY impressed, but he's super impressed right now.

So he wanders over after their set and helps them get their equipment packed up and out of the way, and then he introduces himself and starts talking to them and it's the weirdest thing, because he just clicks with them instantly—he's never met these guys before and yet somehow within twenty minutes, Brendon is waving and smiling at him as they carry the last of their shit out to the car and Dallon has a phone number that says BRENDON AND SPENCER'S SICK MUSIC PAD on the napkin and an invitation to come over and jam in a few days and also Brendon is apparently going to email him this Youtube video he swears that Dallon needs to see. It would be totally CREEPY, except for how Brendon and Spencer the nicest dudes in the history of ever and it isn't creepy at all. Dallon doesn't really know what to make of it.

So he starts hanging out with Brendon and Spencer, a little awkwardly at first, but that awkwardness evaporates once he gets to their place and sees this tiny ramshackle apartment with crap everywhere and musical instruments and star wars posters and realizes that not only are they really talented guys, they're also huge dorks like he is. The first night they hang out they don't even get around to playing any music, they just sit around and drink beers and watch bad kung-fu movies and maybe Dallon has kind of missed having people around that just GET his weird sense of humor without him having to explain it. Like, Brendon is definitely the talkative one and Spencer is a lot quieter but he's also got an epic sense of timing and he will just bust out with absurd statements in the most dead-pan voice imaginable and Dallon just really, really likes them. Brendon tutors and goes to class during the day and works evenings at a smoothie shop but Spencer also works nights, like Dallon does, he's a night clerk at a convenience store to pay the bills, so he ends up hanging out with Spencer a lot and basically by the end of the first week Dallon is falling asleep on their sofa and waking up to Spencer making coffee in the morning. It should feel awkward, and sometimes it does, but overall Dallon just sort of fits into Brendon and Spencer's lives pretty effortlessly. Instant friends, just add water.

So this goes on for like a month, and at the end of the month Dallon is honestly kind of super bummed about leaving Brendon and Spencer and also his job at the club, because he likes working with Zack a lot. And then Ian's tour contract gets extended, and he calls Dallon all frantic and apologetic, and Dallon says it's fine and accidentally mentions Brendon and Spencer and Ian is like OH DUDE, I KNOW THOSE GUYS, THEY'RE AWESOME, which further cement's Dallon's opinion of them. So Dallon's around for another month. Woo!

But the thing about Brendon and Spencer is...okay, Dallon understands that sometimes he is a creeper, and he's okay with this, but by the end of the month he's become sort of preoccupied with figuring them out. And not just in a friend way, in a like...Dallon doesn't really know how to describe it without coming out and being like "Okay, seriously, are you guys dating?" because he just has _no idea._ They're roommates and best friends and sometimes Dallon will see something in the morning before he's half awake, like Spencer running his palm over the small of Brendon's back, or Brendon will give Spencer this LOOK, but it's always little things, insubstantial things, nothing that adds up or can't be explained away by their (admittedly co-dependent) relationship. Dallon doesn't know whether he's imagining it or whether they're hiding it for reasons of their own or whether maybe they have some kind of emotional mind-meld soulbonding non-sexual relationship and like—it's driving him CRAZY. He's SO CURIOUS. And also, possibly, just possibly, he might be interesting in knowing if one of them were single. or both of them. or—-actually no, Dallon has pretty much cut off that line of thought before it starts, every time, because that way lies madness.

—

[Brendon and Spencer's backstory]

So I think Brendon and Spencer grew up together, lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same schools, but they were always sort of casual acquaintances until at least middle school or early high school, which is when they both started getting really intensely into music. And then they started hanging out all the time, and this sort of developed into a really close relationship where they're spending all of their time together, even if they're not working on music, and that's kind of how it just _is._ They have other friends, obviously, but by the time Brendon's a senior in high school and Spencer is a junior they're thinking about trying to start up a band, and then a bunch of people fall through on them so they just keep working together, just the two of them, thinking that at some point they'll find other people to fill the band out.

And also during Brendon's senior year, he comes out to Spencer when it looks like the band is actually going to happen, they've found a couple of guys and everything is going well and so Brendon bites the bullet and kind of haltingly tells Spencer he thinks he's gay or bisexual or SOMETHING, because Spencer is his best friend and Brendon feels like...okay, if they're going to really try and make something of this, if it all ends up working out, at least Spencer should _know_. He's never told anyone before, and he's fucking terrified, but Spencer is really cool and supportive about it and I think maybe Brendon has been secretly...not hoping, exactly, but Spencer isn't the most heteronormative person on the planet, either, and it's not like he's in love with him (not yet, anyway, not at this stage, Brendon's too confused to really be in love with anyone) but I think Brendon was sort of...hoping Spencer might feel the same way. Just so he has someone who knows what it's like, you know? He doesn't want to feel so _alone_.

So he asks Spencer, haltingly, awkwardly, still talking around the issue, and Spencer bites his lip and then he hugs Brendon for a long time and then he pulls away and he's like "I...no. B. I'm straight." And it's the weirdest thing, because suddenly Spencer almost wants to _apologize_ for that, there's a moment when Brendon looks so devastated and then he quickly covers it up and it's okay and Spencer feels like, _guilty,_ which is so dumb, he can't change who he is any more than Brendon can change who he is. But. It's there, that feeling like he's let Brendon down.

So they go off to college, together, and they're roommates and Spencer drops out almost immediately because he's never really been into school and he hates it and also the only job he can get is working nights, which isn't really working for the whole "take classes during the day" thing. But Brendon's determined to finish, to prove to his parents that he's not a slacker, and also he really LIKES his music classes, and eventually they just stop looking for other bandmates. They just start working with what they have and figuring out what they can do with just the two of them and Brendon's learning all of these new instruments and getting better at the ones he's already good at and it's just—working, surprisingly. They start playing shows and while it's not like success comes knocking at their door immediately or anything, they get some press and some notice and so by Brendon's final year of college (which is when Dallon shows up) they're not doing so badly. They've got an EP out and they're working with an indie record label on a full-length pressing. Things are happening.

—

Except it's not quite that simple.

Because the thing is, Brendon is...well, whatever Brendon is, sometimes he brings home boys (most of the time) and sometimes he brings home girls (sometimes) and Spencer is fine with whatever, because he gets that Brendon's figuring his shit out and maybe he'll be figuring his shit out for the rest of his life, and that's okay. Spencer isn't that interested in labelling Brendon. He's a lot more concerned with Brendon's hookups eating his cereal in the morning or leaving their underwear in the couch then he is about Brendon's sexual orientation. Brendon was always handsome, even in high school when they were both insanely awkward, and he's grown up to be even more so, and he doesn't really have a lot of trouble finding dates. Spencer sees people too, on and off, and at one point he even has a girlfriend that he really likes for about ten months but then she ends up switching schools and moving back home and that's kind of the end of that situation.

And all of this would be _fine,_ it would be normal, it would be entirely uncomplicated, if they haven't been getting drunk and making out with each other for the past three years.

It starts because one night just after they move out and into their own place they're celebrating pretty hard and then Brendon leans over and kisses Spencer. And Spencer kind of blinks and then puts his hand on Brendon's shoulders and makes like he's going to push him away, but he's pretty drunk, so all that happens is that he puts his hands on Brendon's shoulders, like he's encouraging him, and Brendon looks at him and then he grins and he whispers. "Don't sweat, Spence. Practice. It's no big."

And Spencer kind of blinks at him and he's drunk enough that it sounds like a perfectly great idea. Brendon needs to practice! Brendon's never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. And Spencer isn't gay, but kissing someone is kissing someone, and so they end up making out on the couch and then eventually Brendon pulls away and kisses Spencer on the temple and he's like "night," and then stumbles off to bed. And Spencer kind of lies there thinking about it for a while, because, well, _that_ just happened, and he's not sure how he feels about it but mostly he's interested in his _lack_ of negative reactions. Brendon had been careful to keep it extremely chaste, no real touching, even. Just kissing. And Spencer's kind of surprised to realize that Brendon is definitely one of the best makeout partners he's ever had, like—he liked that, and it's new, and kind of interesting, but at the same time Spencer doesn't think this necessitates some kind of existential crisis, because it's not like he even got hard. It was just...nice. Comforting. He would totally do that again, he thinks to himself, and then he passes out on the couch and doesn't wake up until after Brendon's left.

And then it happens again. And again. And again.

And each time, it's just— _easy._ It's never sexual, or not much, anyway, they never do anything more than make out, touching above the waist only, they never take their clothing off and it just becomes thisthing that they do. It doesn't happen when Spencer has a girlfriend and it doesn't happen when Brendon starts seeing this guy for a while and it looks like it's going to get serious, but—for three years, other than those periods of time, it happens. It just becomes part of their relationship, somehow—we're in a band, we're roommates, sometimes we make out—and they don't really talk about it but it's started happening when they _aren't_ drunk, too.

So when Dallon starts hanging out with them, he is—unbeknownst to him—kind of walking into this very gingerly covered-up minefield. Spencer isn't having a crisis, exactly, but he's starting to realize that maybe making out with Brendon is something he's actually into, and not just something they're doing, and lately it seems like the only time he can get off is by jerking off imagining making out with brendon, and he's pretty sure that MEANS SOMETHING. He knows that sexuality is variable, and he's fine with that, but all of a sudden his is a lot more variable than he really realized, and the weirdest thing is that it's happening to him over Brendon, like _Brendon,_ his best friend and the other half of his band and also the guy that he turned down in high school that one night. Spencer doesn't really know how to deal with any of it but his and Brendon's relationship has definitely been changing, like maybe Brendon can feel it too, and all of a sudden they're even MORE all over each other and the touches last longer and Spencer is just. Really confused, because he thought he had this figured out, and apparently he doesn't have it figured out at all.

—

Anyway.

So back to Dallon, who has sort of stumbled into this complicated relationship between Brendon and Spencer, and who has no idea what's going on but everything is awesome! except for how everything is weird sometimes. Except for how Dallon kind of really thinks Brendon isn't straight, and that's....yes, alright, perhaps he's a little interested in that, except then it feels weird for him to think about maybe doing something with Brendon and not having Spencer around. Except Brendon mentioned Spencer's ex-girlfriend that one time, so maybe Spencer's straight. Except Dallon kind of doesn't think Spencer's straight when it comes to Brendon? Or something.

Dallon's confused.

He shakes his head at his sad little lunch that he's eating backstage while they're taking a few 9-5 days to redo the lighting rig, one overflowing burrito wrapped in foil, with a big hole in the side where he ripped it open with his fork because he was hungry and burritos are complicated.

Zack claps him on the back of the shoulder and gives his burritos a considering look, and then tells him he needs to open his mouth wider or he'll never be able to fit that shit in, bro.

It's a normal day at work. Basically. And it continues being a normal night hanging out with Brendon and Spencer on their couch and playing video games until Brendon disappears somewhere, and then a slightly-less than normal night because he actually goes back to his own (Ian's) apartment to get some sleep because he figures he has this nice free place, maybe he should USE it once in a while instead of spending all of his nights on Brendon and Spencer's couch.

—

And then the next morning (afternoon) (whatever) is a Thursday, and Dallon wanders over to Brendon and Spencer's apartment, because he doesn't technically have to be at the venue tonight, even though he'll probably show up there eventually. And he wanders in to a seriously awkward scene which is, as far as he can tell, either Spencer making breakfast for a one-night stand in his underwear, or Spencer making breakfast for _Brendon's_ one night stand in his underwear, and either option seems kind of entirely plausible. Dallon's a little thrown by the friendly, pretty girl sitting around their living room in her underwear and a t-shirt of Spencer's who introduces herself as Sarah, and proceeds to continue to not wear pants. But then again, Spencer's also in his underwear, and when Brendon comes out he says hello to Dallon and jokingly slaps Spencer on the ass when he has to squeeze by Spencer in their tiny kitchen to get to the orange juice, and oh god, what if Dallon just walked into the morning after a threesome? Oh _god._

"You want some of these pancakes?" Spencer says and wow, yeah, when he turns around Dallon can kind of see the outline of his dick? And it's like 11am. It's too early for dick. Dallon feels very strongly that all dicks should be kept undercover until at least noon unless Dallon is personally acquainted with them.

"Do I have to get naked?" Dallon says, before he can stop himself.

"Uh," Spencer says, grinning. "It's not a _requirement_ , but you can, I guess."

"I just," Dallon says. "There's a really pretty girl in your living room and she's not wearing pants."

"Sarah's pretty opposed to pants on a general basis," Brendon says, his head still stuck in the fridge.

"Right," Dallon says.

"I'm going to make more pancake mix," Spencer says, deciding for Dallon while he's still casting around for something to say that isn't _oh god, will someone just explain to me who is fucking who, here, so I can have a little clarity in my life?_

"Awesome," Brendon says. "Oh shit, did you know we had this?" Brendon says, pulling a bottle of cheap champagne out of the back of the fridge. "We can totally make mimosas."

"That's from my grandfather's seventy-fifth birthday party," Spencer says, tapping the label that says _Congratulations Donald Smith!!!_ with a clip-art picture of balloons on it.

"So?" Brendon says.

"Yeah, okay," Spencer says, shrugging. "Good point."

"I still feel like I should be naked," Dallon says. "More naked than I am."

"So do it," Brendon says. "We'll have an underwear mimosa breakfast party, whatever. Hey, Sarah," Brendon calls out, and Sarah's head peeks around the door of the kitchen. She's holding their Playstation 2 controller in one hand. "How many pancakes do you want?" Brendon says. "Also, mimosas? yes/no?"

"Three pancakes," Sarah says, to Brendon. "Yes to mimosas. Spence," she says, switching focus for a moment. "Is that your high score at the top of the leaderboard in Tekken?"

"Damn straight," Spencer says.

"Maybe I should have said 'was,' " Sarah says thoughtfully. "It's gone now." She ducks around the doorway, cackling in glee as Spencer threatens to ruin everyone and everything she loves.

"Okay," Dallon says, mentally just giving up. If he's going to get drunk in his underwear at 9am, he's going to do it with a clear conscience. "Okay. Who exactly is Sarah?"

"Our friend from home," Brendon says, popping the cap off the champagne, and behind him, Spencer snorts. "Brendon's ex," Spencer says. "They dated in high school."

"You and Sarah totally hooked up my freshman year of college, don't front, " Brendon says lightly, but he doesn't seem to be overly concerned about this fact.

"Why are we talking about who I've slept with, what the fuck," Sarah says, poking her head around the door. "I can hear you, you know."

"Dallon asked," Brendon says, looking suddenly guilty. "Sorry, was that—should I not have said that?"

"Nah, it's fine," Sarah says, rolling her eyes. "Just. You know. Maybe don't tell your next door neighbors and the postman and my mom, while you're at it."

"Sorry," Dallon says to Sarah, feeling equally complicit. "I didn't mean to pry, I just. Um. I'm sorry."

"It's not that big of a deal," Sarah says, wandering into the kitchen and hopping up on the one kitchen stool that sits at their messy, bill-and-junk covered kitchen bar. "I'm just busting their balls about it. It's ancient history now. They're both practically my brothers."

"Sexy brothers," Brendon says, wiggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Uh-huh," Sarah says, stealing the first mimosa that Brendon pours out. "Keep telling yourself that, dude."

—

"Why are we eating pancakes in our underwear on your kitchen floor?" Dallon asks again, later on, because he's kind of drunk and it's like, _noon_ , and there are very few times in his life that he's going to be able to ask that sort of question and get an honest answer, so he might as well take advantage of it.

"Because Sarah's here," Brendon says, like that's a totally valid response.

"Yeah," Sarah says, grinning at Brendon and Spencer and then Dallon in turn. "Because I'm here."

"Okay, then," Dallon says, and wishes that statement cleared up anything at all.

—

So it turns out that Sarah is staying for a while, at least for a couple of days, and that she does actually wear pants when she's out of the house, and also that Sarah is just as awesome as Brendon and Spencer, so that's a definite plus. Dallon really likes her, and he likes just sitting back and watching the three of them bicker like siblings, even if it has the side effect of making him feel about 600 times more lonely, because it's obvious even to him how much history they all have with each other. And when Dallon thinks back to it he can remember her being mentioned a few times, in the very very few conversations they've had about things that happened to Brendon and Spencer before they moved to Vegas, because for all that they're friends they don't really _talk_ so much, or at least not about the past. There's big blank spaces in Dallon's knowledge of Brendon and Spencer's lives, and high school is one of them, so he thinks it's a mark of how close they are with Sarah that she's even come up in conversation at all.

And then Sarah leaves to fly back to California, where she's going to college, and Dallon has that weird moment of remembering that he's kind of...a lot older than all of his new friends. Like, not that much? But since he never really sees Brendon much during the day and Spencer doesn't go to school, he's sort of managed to forget that Spencer is like, _twenty,_ which means Brendon and Sarah are twenty one, and Dallon is twenty-seven and now he just feels creepy and weird and cradle-robber-y in addition to being confused and weird about Brendon and Spencer (and Sarah, even, and Dallon thinks it's probably a good thing for his own sanity that Sarah doesn't live in Vegas, however selfish that may be. He's not sure he can handle hanging out with _three_ hot and awesome people all the time. Two is kind of proving to be too many).

So Dallon does his own thing for a few days after Sarah leaves, working a lot, not exactly avoiding Brendon and Spencer, but kind of avoiding them, because he's come to the conclusion that it's probably just...better if he gets over this weird crush thing he has. It can't be that hard, Dallon has gotten over people before, and sometimes all it takes is a little distance for a few days. He's just going to spend a week or so working, and then he'll see Brendon and Spencer again and maybe the lack of constant proximity will break the cycle and they can all hang out like normal people instead of Dallon being weird, even if he's mostly just weird inside his own head. And it's a brilliant plan, except for how Zack is having a local music showcase all weekend, and of course not only are Brendon and Spencer playing it, they're in the club every night because all of their friends are playing and it's also a great place to network. So Dallon hides out behind the sound board and ducks a lot when he sees Brendon and Spencer coming over, and then watches them creepily from the corner and generally acts like a big weirdo. At one point he even points them out to another tech and asks the other tech if he thinks they're dating, based on body language, like what would you say? which mostly earns Dallon a weird look, and a "Uh, I don't think Brendon and Spencer are dating, dude," because fuck, of course, _everyone_ here knows Brendon and Spencer. Of course. Dallon should have known.

So by the second night Dallon's going a little crazy, because his night basically consists of sitting in the sound booth for eight hours and pretending to watch the acts on stage while actually watching Brendon and Spencer sit with each other and laugh with each other and flirt with each other, except that maybe it's not flirting, because that's just sort of how they are with each other? Or maybe it IS flirting, but it's like, a base-line sort of normal flirting, a level of flirting that is normal and acceptable and doesn't mean anything, and maybe Dallon needs to get out more, wow. But like. Brendon has his hand on Spencer's knee! Dallon can see it from here. They have to be having sex. Dallon feels really confused and really dumb. It is absolutely none of his business if his two new friends are having sex. Except for how Dallon's going to go home and drown his sorrows in a marathon Final Fantasy replay and an extra large all-meat pizza and possibly a few beers, but whatever. That's not Brendon and Spencer's fault for being all adorable and in love and co-dependent and hot and stuff.

So Dallon's sitting in the sound booth, moping and pretending not to, and watching the stage and mostly doing his job, and then all of a sudden Spencer's sliding into the seat next to him and handing him a bottle of water, and Dallon tries to smile but it comes out a little wrong on his face, because now that Spencer's sitting next to him it's kind of striking him in the moment how much he really sort of...wanted them to be single. Or something. He doesn't know what he wants and it's probably a terrible idea even if they were, but he wanted that, maybe even more than he's admitted to himself before right now, and it's not going to be an option and that sucks.

"So," Spencer says, nodding to the sound board. "Seems like the weekend showcase is a challenging job, huh."

"Uh," Dallon says.

"You've been so busy all weekend," Spencer says easily. "I just thought I'd come up and say hey."

"It's, uh," Dallon says. "Those local acts, you know. Really tricky sound on those keytars. Hah." Spencer isn't buying his excuses even a little bit. Dallon is a terrible liar.

"Right," Spencer says. "Well, when you're done with your fascinating night of scrupulously overseeing three different audio tracks, you want to come chill with us later?"

"Uh," Dallon says. "I've got. Um." He wants to say _really important moping to do_ , but that's not going to fly.

"A thing?" Spencer guesses, giving Dallon an unimpressed look. "Let me guess. You have a very important unspecified thing with people who are absolutely not us, right?"

"No," Dallon says, "It's not like that, it's—shit." When puts it like that, wow, he really does sound like an asshole.

"Is this about Brendon?" Spencer says. "It's okay. You can just ask him. He's not going to say no. He really likes you."

"Brendon?" Dallon says, staring at Spencer in confusion.

"It's always about Brendon," Spencer says, giving Dallon a look that says, _duh._ "Okay, um. Let's just re-wind and do this the easy way. Yes, Brendon dates dudes. No, Brendon is not seeing anyone. Yes, Brendon likes you and thinks you're cool. Yes, he's kind of dense sometimes and needs someone to be _super obvious_ before he's willing to just throw himself out there."

"Why are we talking about Brendon?" Dallon says, even though okay, that just answered a lot of his burning questions, although he's not sure he likes Spencer's sad, vaguely resigned tone of voice.

"You—wait," Spencer says, pausing mid-ramble. "Wait. You don't like Brendon?"

"Brendon's hot?" Dallon manages, because, well. Saying he _doesn't_ like Brendon would be kind of a lie. Dallon does like Brendon. He likes Brendon in a friend way and also a dick-touching sort of way, but he doesn't _only_ like Brendon, which seems to be a completely unheard of concept for Spencer.

"Okay, that's what I thought," Spencer agrees. "He is. Now, what you need to do is just get over your little hiding-inside-the-soundbooth-thing and go talk to him and then we can hang out later and I'll go to work and voila!" Spencer takes a sip of his beer, looking pleased with himself. "Instant date-night, bro. See? Totally easy."

"That's not...no," Dallon says, simultaneously both touched and horrified at Spencer's complete lack of awareness. "Spencer."

"What?" Spencer says. "It will totally work, and then everyone's happy and no one's hiding out in sound-booths."

"Okay, but what about _you?_ " Dallon says, unable to hold it back any longer.

Spencer frowns. "What _about_ me?" Spencer says, giving Dallon a blank look. "I told you, I have to work after this."

"Do you really just go around setting people up with Brendon and assuming no one looks twice at you and acting like that's okay?" Dallon says. "Because that's kind of fucked up."

"Yes?" Spencer says.

"No," Dallon says firmly. "No, okay. No. I don't want to go home and hit on Brendon and then have you be the nice friend who leaves so we can...whatever."

"Uh," Spencer says. "Uh. Why not?"

"Because if I have to pick I'm picking you," Dallon bursts out, and wow, okay, he definitely just ruined any sense of mystery he might have just had, but it's worth it for the look on Spencer's face, even if he's about to get shot down. "Yes, Brendon is hot. Yes, Brendon is awesome, and if I ran into him at a club I'd totally hit on him and hell, if I ran into him at a bake-sale I'd probably hit on him too, but I just. It's kind of. It's kind of you, Spencer," Dallon says, starting to feel nauseous. Fuck, that is a lot of feelings he just threw up all over the place. Oh god. Dallon hates feelings. This is crap. This whole situation is crap.

"You'd pick me?" Spencer says, suddenly thrown off-kilter.

"Yeah," Dallon says.

It's very silent in the sound-booth, except for the faint sound of someone on stage playing a kazoo. Mournfully.

"Oh fuck that just really happened, didn't it," Dallon says eventually, after Spencer still hasn't said anything. "Oh god. I am so, so sorry."

"So what you're saying," Spencer says slowly, after another long pause. "Is that you're pretty into me but you're also into Brendon but mostly you're into both of us."

"Did I say that?" Dallon says. "Shit. No. I don't know. Yes. Maybe?"

"You didn't say it quite like that," Spencer says. "But you kind of thought it real hard in this general direction. And stammered a lot."

"Usually how it goes," Dallon agrees, blushing furiously.

"I should," Spencer says, standing up. "I should. I should go talk to Brendon. Can you just—stay here? For a little bit?"

"Not planning on going anywhere," Dallon says, pointing to his sound board. "Kind of my job to not go anywhere."

"Right," Spencer says distractedly. "I'll be right back."

"Sure," Dallon says. "No problem." _I have no idea what just happened_ , Dallon thinks, as he watches Spencer head back into the crowd, making a bee-line for Brendon's table. _Not even a little bit._

—

"Party in the sound booth," Brendon says, tripping his way into Dallon's space through the tiny door, beer clenched firmly in one hand. "Hi Dallon,"

"You're both going to get me fired," Dallon says, checking the levels for the last act, something that seems to involve a lot of drum and possibly an accordion. What is it with accordions and Vegas lately? Even Brendon plays the accordion. Dallon has never seen so many damn accordions in his life.

"Zack said it's cool," Brendon says, waving enthusiastically out the window to Zack, who is standing side-stage and overseeing as the drum-and-accordion act sets up. Zack rolls his eyes and waves back. "He likes us," Brendon says, plopping back down into the only available seat.

"He does," Dallon agrees. "He told me you guys were cool."

"Shit, from Zack that's like a ringing endorsement," Spencer says dryly. "Also B's kind of drunk, by the way. Fair warning."

"I noticed," Dallon says, because Brendon is currently really friendly and smells like beer and it's not that hard of an interpretative leap.

"Finish your sound board duties so we can talk about going on a big gay orgy date," Brendon says, and Dallon chokes on his own spit for a moment.

"What?" Dallon says.

"Sound board," Brendon says, tipping his beer at the board. "It won't mix itself."

"You said 'date,' " Dallon says.

"Do you not go on dates?" Brendon says. "Is that a thing for you?"

"No, I go on dates," Dallon says. "But you also said, 'orgy.' "

"I don't think three people counts as an orgy," Spencer says. "It's just a threesome."

"The band's going on," Brendon says, and Dallon swears, pulling up his notes from sound check on the correct levels for the Accordiotronics ( _Seriously?_ Dallon thinks. _The Accordiotronics, what the fuck?_ )

"Competence," Brendon says approvingly, as he watches Dallon work. "I like that in a man."

"You know what else you like in a man?" Spencer says.

Brendon chews over that for a moment.

"Dick?" Brendon says, and Dallon has to work really hard not to let out an embarrassing noise.

"I was going to say, 'a sense of humor," Spencer says. "But yeah, okay. Dick works too. Don't make Dallon feel really honored by our interest in him or anything."

"I like your sense of humor," Brendon tells Dallon firmly. He waits a beat. "And also your—"

" _Brendon._ "

"—hair," Brendon finishes innocently. "What?"

"I like your hair too," Dallon says. "And Spencer's hair. Everyone has great hair up in this sound-booth."

"Agreed," Brendon says placidly. "So where should we go on our date?"

"I don't—hold on," Dallon says, fixing another level. "Okay," Dallon says, spinning in his chair to face them. "Are you saying we should—that we should all just—"

"Brendon and I have kind of a...thing," Spencer says, looking at the ground. "A weird thing. A long-running-weird-thing."

"Yeah," Brendon says. "And we kind of need to work that shit out between us, I'm not going to lie. But we also both think you're awesome, and if our options are being weird and fucked up around each other and also both secretly liking you, and each other, versus working stuff out and getting to date you and each other and—" Brendon pauses. "Wow, I'm rambling," Brendon says. "Did any of that make sense?"

"Sort of," Dallon says. "You want to...not be weird and fucked up around each other any more."

"And also, you know," Spencer says. "Kind of date you. Kind of a lot." _Holy crap_ , Dallon thinks. _Spencer is blushing_. Dallon didn't think Spencer blushing was possible. It's like seeing a unicorn.

"Slow dating," Brendon says. "Barry-white style shit. Maybe some hand holding."

"Right," Dallon says.

"But not tonight," Spencer says. "Tonight I have to work. So we should just go back and make Brendon drink some water and play video games."

"Sounds...awesome," Dallon manages. "Okay then."

"Sweet," Spencer says.

"Dude," Brendon says. "This band is called the _Accordiotrons?_ "

—

So then they go back to Brendon and Spencer's place, and there is some entirely non-date-like video game playing, which is to say that Spencer and Dallon play video games and Brendon provides helpful commentary, and then Spencer leaves to go to work and Dallon leaves because it feels kind of weird, just hanging out with Brendon now that they are...Barry White style dating, which he thinks usually means slow sexy sex, but for Brendon apparently means hand-holding and romance. But Brendon squeezes his hand as Dallon's leaving ,and then Spencer kind of awkwardly walks Dallon to the bus stop, and maybe they're kind of doing this thing in an oh-god-are-we-really-doing-this sort of way.

And then Brendon and Spencer take some time to work out their issues, because they have a lot of them, but once they've kind of thrown everything out in the open with Dallon it's easier for everyone involved, and they all agree not to move things forward until everything is settled, and now in addition to video game nights and music nights and underwear pancake nights they have date nights, and then one night Spencer kisses Dallon in their kitchen and then after that everything moves pretty smooth and easy and there is a lot of fumbling, laughing first-time sex, because for all of his bravery Spencer doesn't really know what he's doing, and Dallon and Brendon both generally know what they're doing but they've never done it with two other people, so it's a new sexy sex experience for everyone involved. Brendon maybe knees Spencer in the face once or twice, no one can prove a thing.

Basically, all the weirdo bros are happy and in love, and then Ian comes back and everyone is like :(((( because they just started this! Everything was working so well! and Dallon decides to clean out his savings account and get an apartment in Vegas, and so he does, and on moving-in day Brendon and Spencer help him get everything unpacked and go to IKEA with him and help him buy dish towels and lightbulbs and can openers and then they have sex on every available surface in Dallon's apartment because that's a lot easier with three people because you can cover more ground that way.

The end!


End file.
